Make shit happen, live your life!

         This week's post is written by a fellow Sexual Gentleman as I had anticipated in my last writing. I leave now with my good friend Tac who'll be talking with you about one of my favorite topics ever: Go out there and make some shit happen! God damned we only live once and we'd better live our life to the fullest! take some risks, go for gold and enjoy every moment you live, it's your Birthright! 

Enough said let's get Tac on stage!

 Make shit happen, live your life!

It is within us to survive. This is instinct. You see it from the highest predator to the lowest prey. Everything will flee danger. Everything wants to survive. But how many of us want to live? I mean really live. Not exist. Not survive. Not work some shitty nine to five job to get by. No. Really live. Experience life. I often hear people complaining about their situation. They complain about how they don't like their job, or their house, or their spouse. I have a saying that I often tell people like this, “Don't like your situation? Make shit happen.” Apart from the young and sometimes the elderly, anyone can change their situation. Many of you have seen this and may have had it happen to you. When you got into this community, what were you looking for? Most likely more success with women. While you may not be there yet, you have probably seen a change. This is irrefutable proof that you can change your situation.
I want you to ask yourself a few questions. Do you believe in some form of life after death, whether a “heaven” or reincarnation or anything else? And also, do you believe that entrance (or advancement in the case of reincarnation) in this life after death depends on moral decisions made in this life? Third, are you living the life that you want to live? If you answered “No” to either of the first two and the third, I have a question for you. Why? If you don't believe in life after death then you believe this is the only life you get. Why the hell wouldn't you make it the best it could be? And if you believe that acceptance or advancement in this life after death is not influenced by moral decisions made in this life, you also have no reason to not live the life you want. Now, if you answered yes to the second question but no to the third, there is still hope for you. While I don't want to bash any particular religion I will say this: Most religions keep us in the chains of what old, white, dead men considered right.

No one can be held responsible for your life, they are too busy living theirs. As far as we can prove, we all have just one life to live. Why would anyone want to spend any of this one life feeling unhappy? If you aren't happy in your situation, do something about it. Break it off with your lover or quit your job. Do what it takes! Take some time and stop worrying about them and worry about you. I don't go to the gym to look better because I worry about what people think of me, I go because I have one life to live. I want to live this life as much as I can. I want to experience everything. If I die without some of these experiences, I will die happy with the knowledge that I tried. You have to strive to be the best you that you can be. Don't do this for other people because you will surely fail. Do this for you, so that you can be happy, so that you don't have to survive, so that you can live.

 I want you to turn this computer off right now and go make shit happen. Stop existing. Start living! 

Lead...as told by Subaroo

One humble man gave me the most simple and probable most useful advice back in early 2009. His message was simple, drop all this meaningless theories and LEAD or in his words:

I have a theory that all this pickup stuff comes down to leading. leading by telling her that you like her and what you want to do about it. As long as the girl likes you (i.e. approves of you vs. disapproves) she will follow your lead for anything. if you lead her into sexual talk, she will follow cause she likes you. if you lead her into frendship zone, she will follow cause she likes you. girls will rarely take the inititive to steer the interaction, especially into the sexual realm.. thats why some of us guys in the community only got a few girls in hs, we got the ones that liked us enough to lead us into a relationship because we were too lame to do it ourselves. 

Subaroo

 Ever since that day I stopped blaming other people, (and fate, bad luck or whatever else you might believe in) and I took responsibility for my own failures.


Today I can only say I completely share his opinion, as long as you're leading your life in the direction you want you can't go wrong, if you want a sexual relationship with a woman (and by sexual I don't mean sex I mean intimate) then you have to lead it there. However this leading philosophy also applies to  any social activity you try (namely social groups, close friends, work companions...).

I just talked about taking responsibility about our failures, that's very important but the way we see failure is just as important! Actually failure isn't an obstacle, an end line or an indicator that you're just not made to succeed, it will only mean it if you let it mean it.
Failure is a learning experience, one that we have to go through repeatedly to achieve success! Actually the best teacher you'll find out there (and the best one I've found) is named "Trial & Error", I still take my most important lessons from him... but that's a topic that deserves a post for itself and that post will be coming soon!

I've also got a series of guest bloggers, most of them are fellow Sexual Gentlemen so stay tuned for some great articles!

Jude
Sexual Gentleman & Dark Horse

Time & Motivation

The inspiration for today's post comes from an unusual place. It comes from Pink Floyd's song Time and though the song is a "memento mori" full of dark notes and a sad tone, making it closer to a depressive song rather than a high energy, fun song that are so important to get us in a good vibe.

However this song touched me on a stronger level, it's through strong lines that it delivers a powerful message, our time is limited and if we don't take action on life, delay our dreams or commitments, make excuses for everything, the day will come when time catches us up and we didn't achieve our goals and that day it will be too late to start.

I see this song as a reminder of that possible future, a way to stay motivated to achieve the goals and dreams I have rather than feel depressed it fuels me to get off my lazy ass and paint the canvas of my life the way I want, by living in the moment, being happy but most importantly, living my passions and become the man I want to be.

Don't let time pass you up, act when an opportunity arrises and seek to create more opportunities as well.

Don't complaint about the problems you have in your life, be grateful for what you have, dust yourself up and ACT on those problems, decide want you want and go for it.

Life life with no regrets, that's the most important message I get from this song, and the way to do so is to take the chances that cross your path, sure thing not all of them will succeed, but you did try, every time I don't take a chance I find myself regretting not taking action and this song helps me look up and go fight for what I want so in the end I can say I succeded in my life.

"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day

You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town

Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain

You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today

And then one day you find ten years have got behind you

No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking

And racing around to come up behind you again

The sun is the same in the relative way, but you're older

Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time

Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the english way

The time is gone, the song is over, thought Id something more to say

Home, home again

I like to be here when I can

And when I come home cold and tired

Its good to warm my bones beside the fire

Far away across the field

The tolling of the iron bell

Calls the faithful to their knees

To hear the softly spoken magic spells."

Time- The Dark Side of the Moon- Pink Floyd

about that one girl

Funny isn't it? how we learn to hook up with girls and we get results, yet when we really like a girl we think twice about what to do. Still we know what we should do, but we get affraid that she'll reject us so we hesitate and end up messing everything up.

I've never met a guy that's not familiar with that situation, even those that usually get all the girls have confessed being completely clueless towards the girls they want the most and end up loosing them.

Whoever tells you that you'll be 100% free of that feeling is full of bullshit, maybe through experience you'll eventually get it to some lower degree but it will still show up sometimes. And I'm glad it does, it's what keeps this mysterious and exiting.

Unfortunately for those having trouble with this situation, there's no right answer to be found but there are certain steps or guidelines that can help you better than others.

• First remember that if you don't risk anything you don't win anything either, you'll ultimately have to risk loosing her in order to get her, if you get murky and hesitate too much she'll probably move on.
• Always keep it genuine and don't try to rush things up, you still should be leading but don't overdo it.
• When getting serious with a girl we tend to increase the time we talk over msn, sms etc... be careful with msn since a message can be easily misunderstood, personally I don't even ask for the msn address of a girl I'm very into. (but that might be just me)
• Don't let the spark of the relationship die, keep the sexual tension going on, I know you guys know how to, and eventually get to the part where you tell her you like her and want to hook up with her. Have the courage to share your feelings and open up.
• But most importantly have fun and enjoy your time with her, BE IN THE MOMENT, don't over-think what to do you really want to feel the genuine energy that connected the both of you in the first place.

As I said those are just guidelines and are not absolute trues by far, however I do believe the last point is one to keep in mind.

Hope this helps you guys out there who are having a bit of trouble getting together with the women you really want.

The power of smiling... I mean genuinely smiling.

Today's post comes to my mind because of two reasons. First lately when I've been going out socializing I've found myself smiling at someone I'm talking to and I'm really interested in what he/she's saying (okay you got me, most of the times it's a she who's talking). So I've realized that sometimes I'm so into what they're saying that I feel a smile on my face before I can even think about smiling. And I've also seen it happen the other way around and I must say it's a clear indicator that you're doing great, a genuine smile is much more than an IOI (Indicator of Interest) as it is called in the seduction community, a genuine smile shows connection and if you're feeling it you can be sure you're gonna be making a new friend/ lover etc... in no time, and it's gonna be real.

The second reason is that I see too many blog posts and people talking about how to smile, when to smile, and a lot of advice saying to practice your smiles in front of a mirror to find which one fits you the best and so you get used to do it in your everyday life. Some of this advice suggests to always be smiling while others say to just smile when you're talking or in silences. While there's some truth in some of this it should be taken carefully ( Myself I used to believe a lot of this advice not so long ago. But I can tell you I've never stood in front of a mirror to practice my smile.)

Maybe you've seen the new series "V" or "the visitors", (a series about some aliens that want to rule the earth and infiltrate humanity by claiming they come in peace and to help us with their technology), I haven't but I've been bombarded on TV with trailers about it for months and I can remember the first time I saw Anna (The visitor's leader) saying they came at peace and then making a big forced smile. 

"Yeah right!" The moment I saw it I didn't believed it for one second.

Would you believe her? Well I don't! 

Instead this guy might not have the most beautiful smile, still he feels more genuine and warm, he's in the moment.

The point I want to make, maybe you already have an idea about where I'm going, is that a genuine smile is worth ten thousands time more than a faked or an overdone smile. If you find yourself worrying too much as to when to smile, if she talking and you're not smiling or if she is talking and you're smiling but you shouldn't be or my favorite "My smile looks bad, what should I do to make it look nicer?"

Maybe I'm gonna sound a bit crazy, and I hope so I've been working very hard to seem crazy :D, but what if you just get out of your head for a moment and be in the moment, just be in the conversation and if you find yourself smiling you can be sure it's gonna look great! why? because when you genuinely smile you're not only smiling with your mouth, your whole face lightens up. Again take a look at the pictures, while Owen Wilson smiles with his whole face, our poor attempt to fool humans into surrender is just using her mouth and has a face expression that results suspicious.... her smile isn't real.

Think back in time and you'll probably remember a situation when you were having a conversation with a cute girl and she had the most beautiful smile. I bet that smile was subconscious, I also bet that made you feel great, got you even more interested in her and took some pressure out of the way.

A genuine smile is your ticket to paradise while a forced smile might be the end of the road for you. Just try smiling when you feel like it and if you don't well just do what you feel, sometimes the best thing to do is to be serious when the situation calls for it. Just flow with the moment and you'll be having fun, and let me say one thing: fun is sexy and fun is attractive.

A genuine smile is hypnotic, let it flow and you'll be smiling more frequently, to end this post I'll only say that if you want to smile more don't try to change your smile, instead enjoy yourself and be happy and you'll find yourself throwing genuine smiles more frequently without even realizing, but don't complain to me once all the ladies are over you sharing their stories and having the time of their lives with you!

the hunger don't get fed or the desperate don't get fed?

It's been quite a while since I don't post in here but here goes a fresh entry.

There's an idea in the community that has been bothering me since quite a while, it's is as the title suggest the saying "the hunger don't get fed". I believe this concept has been misunderstood and has created a lot of confusion.

Why? because I feel guys take that concept too far and believe that showing interest in a woman comes under the category of "showing your hunger" so they come up with a lot of strategies to approach the girl in a way that it doesn't looks like they're interested in her. (namely preselection, social proof, indirect openers etc...) 

The examples are abundant, I believe everyone in the community has heard about these sneaky ways to approach a woman "under the radar" without showing your interest. 

however I must say that however you approach you're still showing interest! Why would you approach her otherwise? no matter how you try to hide it, making an approach is showing interest (hiding just makes you approval seeking) and it isn't bad at all, quite the contrary, girls love to be approached and if she reciprocates interest you're off to the races! 
guys tend to think that showing interest first makes them look desperate, but it's not, it actually shows you have the guts to to go up and state your intentions to a girl, in other words that you aren't afraid of leading and taking risks. 
Now if you show too much interest and she hasn't been doing much to earn it then we're going into the terrain of desperation,I'd define desperation as showing too much interest while she doesn't reciprocate.
This is what the saying deals about but somehow it's been deformed and expanded to an unrealistic level.
I just want to finish this post by suggesting we change the saying "the hunger don't get fed" to "the desperate don't get fed" that way you're free to show your intent as long as she reciprocates and works to keep getting it.
Anyone who knows a bit about Juggler method can relate easily this to Reward & Relate (R&R) but notice how I'm just emphasizing on the Reward, you reward her for reciprocating interest by increasing yours and eventually escalating.




I hope this results helpful to those of you that waist too many time, opening lots of sets to show preselection or social proof before opening your target(s) so you don't show interest (I'm not saying these are useless but I do believe they're not necessary), or those of you who start indirect, do some negging and then have to work way more time rebuilding  a connection with the girl.


I also have my doubts about preselection fully working , I mean I seriously question that a particular set will notice how you open lots of other sets (they've got a life too and they're doing they're own thing) before you open it. But that's a topic for another time, I'll have to leave it as a debate.
Now if you want to do some practice before opening your true target that's another story and I have nothing against it.


Stay safe and don't forget to leave your comments.


Jude

Join me on the Becoming Charismatic forums

It's been a while since I don't post but my time is consumed by work and answering doubts in forums, so time for blog articles decreases. Besides a forum allows for a more personal touch so if you like natural game and want to share your experiences then join us at this forum


Jude