Saturday, November 14, 2009

Join me on the Becoming Charismatic forums

It's been a while since I don't post but my time is consumed by work and answering doubts in forums, so time for blog articles decreases. Besides a forum allows for a more personal touch so if you like natural game and want to share your experiences then join us at this forum


Jude

Monday, June 29, 2009

About making a move

Today's post is about making a move just as the title suggests lol.
why? Because last thursday when I went pay a visit to HB Sexy and she warmly said hello to me, then there was big kinoing but unfortunately i was feeling out of state and without realizing I went to play "hard to get" and I'm all about being genuine and reciprocating interest, specially when I'm in the sexual stage of the relationship!
Thing is early in the conversation she told me she felt alone and didn't wanted to go to her place that night all alone, now because of being out of state (and okay because I didn't expected her to want sex this early, it was after all just the second meeting) I misunderstood what she meant and told her it's ok being alone and that she had me, things will get better yada yada yada...
Now after telling this story to a girl friend I can now look backwards and I can see that after this she got a little less interested, and she started giving me some shit like "why don't you look at me when I dance for you? Am I not sexy enough for you?"

And now she's flaked on me, I though it was because that "playing hard to get attitude" but now I realize it's because I ignored her insinuation, that may have disappointed her, or made her thing I'm just an innocent boy or who knows... what I know is that it took the interest away from her.
In my defense however I want to point it was 2nd day I met her at the bar and wasn't expecting the relation to go sexual, my logistics wouldn't have even aloud it, but I should have been ready for it and use these logistics to boost the sexual tension and simply postpose sex for later
Now I've experienced what PUGs say, A woman get's offended when you don't make move so now that I learned it the hard way I can only say to every guy reading this....
MAKE A MOVE!!!!!!!!

Jude

Monday, June 15, 2009

what to expect after an SOI?

One of the biggest questions I hear when I suggest someone to SOI (statement of intent), meaning letting a girl you like sexually that you like her because of some personal trait i.e " You're a really good painter I think that's sexy about you", is isn't it too needy? what if she responds badly? I just found this sentence about it on Dan's blog and I think it couldn't be more clear:

"The important thing with a SOI is knowing that once you state your intent, you don’t need their approval, response, or acceptance of it. If they continue in the interaction it is clear where it is going and they can get out any time they like. Simply continuing with you means they are accepting your SOI."

So be selfish don't look for their approval or their reaction, if they stay it's good, that's all the IOIs (indicator of interest) you need.
I hope it helps to make more clear what I mean by doing an SOI and not being afraid from a reply.
At least it helped me recheck ;)

Jude

Strip night! BIG fun

A year ago I was introduced to the strip bars activity by the guy who thought me MM, for the record it's not a strip club, it's a strip bar so it means girls serving you dance, can do shows but most importantly they stick around you and it's up to you to talk with them if you want to (I recommend you do otherwise they'll feel like just a piece of meet and unless you want a show they'll leave to talk to other clients.)
Anyway I haven't been there in a big couple of months and a friend wanted to go too.
As soon as we got in we got opened by a nice HB I'll call G. After she got our order and served us she stayed so I made some quick OEQs listened to her answers and proceed with the cycle while relating as much as I could. She was a little bit serious though and my friend started asking "So do you dance?" and she said "I'm not in the mood right now", i asked her why and continued relating until she left for a while, then another girl was passing by, probably a 10 and my friend just held eye contact with her and smiled, she was with us in a matter of seconds, it though to myself "well done", my advice to him was to ask any girl he'd talk to OEQs and genuinely listen to her... Since he doesn't believe in game (yet) because he thinks it's just fake routines so it wasn't time to prepare him and teach the CA way. Now he saw me in action things are changing. Wink

after some talking with HB10, G came back and showed HB10 that we we're her set, so sadly HB10 left. but G was now happier she did start dancing and wanted me to watch her, then she asked me about my GF and other logistics and asked us how was our first time. She couldn't believe me I'm a virgin and thought i was full of bullshit, then she related and told us she had a bf who was a virgin and if she hadn't told him what's the front or the back he wouldn't have known so I DQed and said something like "No way! You know I'm just like him I have no idea what's a woman front or back" she gave a "you liar, you' ve got great game look" and then laughed so I said "Well if you still don't believe me we can check Smiley "
It was going well, at several times she put her hands above mine, I couldn't kino pretty much since I'm not allowed too but she's is allowed to touch me as much as she wants. So by this time she was dancing even more looking at me in the eyes, searching for ways to please me, since we gave her a bad time telling her that if she didn't dance was because she wasn't pretty good at it I SOIed and said " Okay I was wrong, you really do some sexy dancing", she started to dance more, and we talked for a while it was fun but that was like the top of the escalation, we ran out of things to say so she eventually left to attend some other clients because she had to anyway but kept coming back to us I teased her with a smile saying "Hey you're back, I thought you'd left us for good" then my friend did something needy kind of like "Yes why did you leave us? we feel pretty alone when you leave us like that." And then she left again of course, so I've started to teach some basics of natural game since then.
But back to our business, my friend just started saying "hi" to another girl passing by and she was with us minutes later, I must recognize even if he has no game he doesn't know either what Approach Anxiety is. Again we do some talking and then they all leave and there's a show going on, nice!
this girl starts walking on the middle of the bar and as she comes towards us my friend said again "hi how are you to her" she ignored us then, so I thought he did a mistake but he got a nice surprise then I won't spoil around here.

So the message to anyone reading this is be bold take some risk and have some courage, even if you don't have game yet or fell badly AA, a girl can forgive those as long as you approach her, it can be the dumbest thing a "hi" works perfectly fine.



Better interactions

It's been a while now since I've been into CA and I can tell I'm way happier now. My interactions are way smoother, I get opened by people and when we're talking they often try to qualify to me and they listen closely to what I say.

For example yesterday after working out I met with a friend of mine who happened to be with two other guys, in my AFC days I would have been too scared to start conversation wit them now it was easier, I won't say it was natural I still far away of it but I could still ask little thinks like "where are you studying?" and "how long have you been on it?" and take the conversation from there on.
Back to the topic there's a guy with whom I have become friends, and even waited for me since I had to do another thing before meeting them again for dinner.
In dinner we played a dice game and even more people joined us, I had a smoke with one of them, then we talk a bit more before they all leave, living me and my new friend that chose to stay with me while I was waiting for a pal to bring my car back since he had taken it earlier.
We then joined another table with people he knew, all of them lawyers and economists students, so we had a nice time talking about it since I'm quitting economics and going to law.
I made a couple of extra friends and they all study in my college, nice!

Then there's the interactions I had today, I had a group work with 9 more people, so we met at the university and had lunch before getting to work, I talked mostly to the leader of the group, he then asked me a lot of things and we were the center of conversation, the only girl that was there laughed at many of my comments, and others did too actually, I find Juggler's idea so true, you aren't funny by trying to be funny but by being on the moment and having fun, funny just starts popping out without me even trying.
Overall it was a good week end and I find my conversation skills are improving, I'm pretty happy about it.

How DHV's are useless with HSE women.

Today at lunch I just noticed how real HSE women feel about people that put themselves upon pedestals.

Okay it's not that bad for young people since HSE women are not that numerous yet.
This came from a couple of my mother's friends... what can I say since I started with CA I can relate better to people and I still listen to their conversations specially since they see me as part of them, I wasn't that active in this one I don't want my parents and their friends thinking I am a ladies man or some kind of seducer but I did listen quite well to their conversation.
It went about how there aren't any real men out there, since my mother's friend is divorced and my father just asked her if she was dating, so she said she was happy just by herself, since she has come across at least 4 guys dumb as wood that just go on shouting their accomplishments like "I have lots of money, it's so great to go and do want I want" or "The peace you get from fishing is something nobody imagines and I just have achieved it "
Then she just said there are no guys that are just honest about themselves and dare say "This is who I am and I want to get to really know you I'm not a superman btw and I don't care"

Damn I couldn't prevent myself from linking it to this PU stuff, the first model of guy is someone that constantly DHVs to prove how cool he is, and actually he just comes as an arrogant idiot and approval seeking while the second one, the one that apparently doesn't exist in their world would be a guy that relates to them and DQs confidently, I was amazed to see so many links to PU while that have not the tiniest idea that there is such a community and I'm sure all those "dumb empty guys" as they call them have no idea of it either.
It's just funny to see that, I really want to find some HSE girls and check out their point of view on people that DHVs

DQ practice

Okay since my first kiss thanx to CA I've been a little lazy and forgot using DQ because of focusing on relating, I actually expected her to qualify me to DQ and forgot completely about active DQing. Now it is a top priority and I'll get to work on it also I need to kill what's left of my approval seeking behavior since I steel feel it around.

But I still have a long way to go I feel AA a lot but I'll wait till I master my socializing abilities before getting rid of it.
Vacations are coming tomorrow so I need to hit on as many girls as I can tomorrow, perhaps keep working on A SOI her and let her know I want her to seriously commit and get to know her better. I might also ask my 2 lawyer friends what they're up to tomorrow and hang out with them, and of course make it sexual with one of them, I might invite a friend so that he can take care of the other so she doesn't become an obstacle.
Anyway I'm happy with my progress I love to help some friends with their relationship interactions since I see them struggle to get girls but they just don't take my advice, instead they protect themselves behind some AFCs ego protections like "It isn't meant to be" "someday i'll find the girl whose right for me"... yeah well keep waiting, let me know how that goes in 3 years when you'll be still single.
If we could just admit that there's something wrong with us and change it instead of fighting and hide it we would have quit being afcs a long time ago.
Anyway that's it for today I'm too tired to keep this up.